


Marooned

by Soquilii9



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soquilii9/pseuds/Soquilii9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janeway and Chakotay are stranded on an alien planet.  Alternate canon from Resolutions, In The Flesh, and Pathways and Mosaic by Jeri Taylor.  1st Voyager Fanfic 1996</p><p>Requested by Cheile and dedicated to her</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cheile (Cheile)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheile/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by Soquilii

DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the characters and the premise behind Star Trek.

_Captain's Log, Stardate 52698.3. Stores are dangerously low after our last engagements with the Borg and Species 8472. Long range scans have shown a single M-class planet along our course – the last chance we have of procuring supplies for months. Tuvok is in command of the ship while Commander Chakotay and I pilot the Sacajawea to the surface. So far, scans reveal no sentient lifeforms and no dilithium._

The day had drawn out long and tedious; much work with little result. The verdant planet's sun swiftly dipped below the horizon, throwing dusky shadows on the shuttlecraft set at the edge of a tangled forest. Captain Kathryn Janeway leaned back in her co-pilot's chair, tiredly glancing over data from preliminary soil and ore samples while Commander Chakotay walked the perimeter outside, scanning for lifeforms. 

The planet would support life, but barely. No great abundance of anything was evident in the amounts required for a starship. It had not been an auspicious beginning - and now darkness decreed they should soon return to Voyager.

Janeway put down her padd and shook her head in exasperation. Nothing else could be done. They would return to the ship to rest then take the shuttle to the other hemisphere in hopes of better luck. Before she could raise her hand to her comm badge to summon Chakotay, it chirped - the signal echoed loudly in the quiet of the shuttle. She dutifully tapped it in response.

'Janeway here.'

Static crackled; faded. She tapped her badge once more, listened carefully, and repeated her response. Faintly, then gradually stronger as it magnified, the signal returned. _Someone's boosting the power signal._ At last the message came through.

'Voyager to Captain Janeway. Please respond.' Tuvok’s usually calm voice betrayed urgency.

'Janeway here. What is it, Tuvok?'

Heavier static accompanied his terse reply. 'Voyager has come under attack.....xxxxx'

 _Attack? By whom? The sensor sweeps were negative!_ 'We're on our way!'

In the absolute quiet of the shuttle interior, the sound of the Red Alert klaxon blared behind Tuvok's voice. The buzz of systems shorting out, pops of small explosions and the alarmed voices of the bridge crew added to the din filtering through the comm. Tuvok's message became severely garbled and the words cut through erratically.

'Captain, do not, repeat...xx not attempt.....xxxxx return xxx shuttlecraft.....xxxxx .dangerous..... xxxxx .....safety..... xxx...xxxx.... remain... xx..xxx..surface...xx...'

'Tuvok! Your message is breaking up. If you can hear me, beam us aboard; we should be in range - beam us aboard! Tuvok!'

Tuvok's broken message filtered through. 'xxxx down, Cap.....xxxxx' Static continued to break his message into barely recognizable bits. 'Shields...fifty per.....xxxxx .....falling.....xxxxx.....

'Who, Tuvok? Who is attacking Voyager?!'

'Speci.....xxxxx.....8472.....Cap.....xxxxx.....'

Commander Chakotay entered the shuttle on the last words of the message, catching the ominous number-name that by now was as dreaded as that of the Borg. Grim-faced, his eyes met Janeway's. As though he read her mind, he settled immediately in the pilot's chair, preparing to take the shuttle back to the ship.

Janeway boosted power to the comm signal. 'We're on our way, Tuvok. Hold on!' She turned to Chakotay, speaking over Tuvok's incoming transmission. 'Any ideas?'

'Can they land the ship?' Chakotay suggested swiftly. 'I doubt 8472 would follow them into an oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere. They're from fluidic space...'

'Worth a try! Tuvok! Do you have enough power to begin landing sequence?!'

'xxxxx.....will link.....xxxxx......'

Janeway, reluctant to remain on the planet as Tuvok suggested, nevertheless decided to give the Vulcan the time he needed to bring Voyager to the surface. The two officers quit the shuttle and hurried out into the open. The trailing flares of alien weapons streamed across the night sky. At first Voyager could not be seen with the naked eye, but as the ship's orbit rapidly decreased, the two officers on the ground could follow the silvery speck. Kathryn grew hopeful until Tuvok's somber voice came back over the comm:

'Capt.....Janeway...live long and.....xxxxx.....xxxxx.....xxxxx.....'

A massive explosion and subsequent shock wave took the ground from beneath their feet. As he fell, Chakotay took Kathryn with him, taking the brunt of the fall with his big body. Night turned to day as a whirling vortex of fiery destruction lit up the horizon. With a protective arm around Kathryn, he twisted to peer up at the sky. Far in the distance, large and small pieces of debris began to drift down to the planet, trailing bluish fumes as they fell. Darkness returned and the echoes of the explosion faded to an eerie silence. No debris rained down upon them. They were safe.

Chakotay helped Kathryn to her feet. Shocked, she shook him off and stumbled forward. Faint blue trails of smoke continued to fall, far to the south. Her comm badge, though still activated, was ominously quiet; void even of static. Slowly she turned to look at Chakotay, whose face mirrored her own. The U.S.S. Voyager, NC-74656, was no more. The entire crew was dead. Their friends, their family! Their vessel home! Another realization struck her: if Species 8472 discovered them on the surface of the planet, they were no longer safe, but in grave danger. This sudden awareness broke the spell and she rallied, swiftly issuing orders.

'Commander, cut all power to the shuttle! Deactivate your comm badge!' She tapped commands into her own and it went dead. As one, they bolted for the shuttle and Janeway hit the door controls. Chakotay immediately powered down all systems. Fearing detection by their body heat and motion, they crouched under the helm consoles, hoping the cold metal and lack of movement would hide them. Interminable hours crawled by. Cramped and uncomfortable, Kathryn risked raising her head to look at Chakotay. He nodded in response to her unspoken question. 'I think we're in the clear, Captain,' he replied softly. 'They would have found us by now.'

Janeway nodded assent. They cautiously knelt up to peer through the front shield. No trace of the malevolent insect-like species could be detected. Still, they watched and listened for a long period of time. Far in the distance, faint smoky trails marked the way to a ship's grave. Involuntarily, Janeway shivered, as though from a chill. If she were forced to remain on this planet, though she lived another fifty years, she vowed never to visit that site.

Chakotay watched Janeway's struggle for composure, wrestling with his own deeply-felt grief at the loss of his friends. One by one, their images flashed painfully through his mind: B'Elanna, special to him since their Maquis days...Harry, skillful but inexperienced...comical but endearing Neelix. Even Tom Paris, his former nemesis, had grown to be a trusted friend. Seven, who would never regain her lost humanity. And what must Kathryn be feeling at the loss of Tuvok? All of them - gone. All of them dead - except he and Kathryn Janeway, now left stranded - again, and now without even a hope of rescue - marooned on a habitable planet somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.

Kathryn sat quietly on the floor of the shuttle for a long time. Then, as Chakotay knew she would, she lifted her chin bravely and looked him in the eye. 'Commander, I suggest we get a good night's sleep. We have a lot of work to do beginning tomorrow.'

'Aye, Captain,' was all he could say.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janeway and Chakotay are stranded on an alien planet. Alternate canon from Resolutions, In The Flesh, and Pathways and Mosaic by Jeri Taylor. 1st Voyager Fanfic 1996

The shuttle floor made an acceptable bed, if not a comfortable one. Chakotay lay aching and unable to sleep. His dark eyes checked each shadow; his ears detected each small sound. Resigned, he contemplated their situation. Voyager's shuttles were well-equipped; blankets, a medkit, environmental suits, rations and a small replicator were at their disposal and should last a long time if they practiced strict conservation. Finding an abundant source of water would be their first concern – judging from his most recent tricorder readings, it shouldn't be that much of a problem. The planet was too lushly green not to have abundant water. _The shuttle itself can provide shelter for the time being, and a dry, if uncomfortable, bed,_ he thought, wryly. Perhaps leaves or grasses could serve as padding under the blankets. Eventually, of course, he and Kathryn would need a house. _No Starfleet-issue modular shelter this time, in beige or blues-and-greens, either,_ he thought ruefully. _It'll be a log cabin or nothing. It's New Earth all over again, but with a fraction of the supplies we had then. I wonder how Kathryn will adjust?_

He felt no qualms about his own adjustment to their situation. He could easily revert to his roots, to the knowledge imparted by his tribe, in how to live sans 24th-century technology. Kolopak, wise man that he was, had insisted that his reluctant son learn the old ways before studying the new. Kathryn, although experienced, hated 'roughing it,' as she once put it. However, what little technology they now possessed wouldn't last forever. She would have to learn new ways. His spirit guide had once labeled him a teacher. If Kathryn proved a willing student, perhaps that destiny would be fulfilled. He shifted uncomfortably. Kathryn appeared to be asleep; she hadn't moved a muscle in hours. He glanced at her blanketed form, huddled against the far wall of the shuttle. Sleeping in such close proximity to her First Officer must be discomfiting, even after the weeks spent alone on New Earth.

Muffled, soft sobs echoing in the darkness woke Chakotay. After several hours of insomnia he must have drifted off, after all. He listened, taken aback; he had never thought Kathryn Janeway capable of tears. How many times had he seen her wrestle one problem or disaster after another, sometimes against impossible odds, since they had been thrown into the Delta Quadrant? She had never backed off from any of the malevolent species they had encountered; sometimes she didn't know when to back off. Yet brave and valiant as she was, this had devastated her. In an attempt to comfort her, he reached out and lightly touched her shoulder. 'Kathryn?' he whispered softly.

'I'm fine.' Her voice, muffled and quavering, belied the statement.

'I’m here,' he ventured, 'if you want to talk.'

'I said I'm fine, Commander.'

The cold rebuke silenced Chakotay and he withdrew his hand, unoffended. She must deal with it and she did not wish to discuss it. There would be plenty of time to sort through feelings later.

~ ~ ~

The shuttle's small replicator provided coffee the next morning, for which Kathryn was deeply grateful. Chakotay had been absent when she awoke, but now returned with several varieties of fruit, which made an acceptable breakfast. They ate quietly at first, seated informally on the sloped ramp of the shuttle. Kathryn cast a brief glance to the south, as if to confirm to herself what had happened the night before then spoke briskly of plans for the day as if they were on a routine mission. Chakotay listened with quiet courtesy, mentally comparing her list of priorities with his own.

They were agreed on one thing - to remain on the planet. The shuttle was all the resource they had. The planet was at least habitable; a bird in hand, she was telling him. He smiled, remembering the old axiom. They would replicate sufficient clothing; enough to last until they found means for making more. They would gather what food they could find until crops could be planted. Perhaps Chakotay could find wild game. As she spoke, Chakotay’s thoughts bifurcated. He could hear the voices of the trees, the whispers of the grasses, feel the caress of the wind in his hair. He stood naked upon a hill, the uniform he detested crumpled at his feet. He was collecting new totems for another medicine bundle, and one for her. Cutting logs for a home of his own, the first since Trebus, he soon began building...

Captain Janeway’s plans called for an exploratory shuttle run to the opposite side of the planet. He approved this first step. She wanted to remove herself from this location and they had to find a suitable place to settle. Additional scans were also necessary. While Voyager had detected no signs of sentient species, if such did exist, Chakotay hoped they were friendly. If not, they were in for a hazardous existence, for there was simply nowhere else to go. Even if another planet were within reach, there was a risk of encountering Species 8472.

~ ~ ~

A long silver ribbon, hopeful evidence of a river of some sort, sparkled in the distance. A snow-covered peak loomed and was gone, as the shuttle descended for a closer look. Chakotay banked the craft between the steep sides of a wide canyon and followed the river downstream, slowing his speed to match that of the rapids so that they could get a better look. Past the rapids and a gentle waterfall lay a wide pool of calm water that narrowed, feeding into the continuation of the river downstream. Chakotay put the shuttle into hover.

Here at last, after days of searching, was a site that offered the best possibility for a safe, if isolated, establishment. The canyon wall bordered the pool on its west side and to the east lay a broad area of level, forested terrain, buttressed by a twin rock wall that rose in the distance. Over eons, the river had whorled and cut deeply into the rock on the east side, forming a wide shelf. Thick layers of mud and silt were deposited, in which thick grasses and massive trees eventually grew. Through drought or some other cataclysm, the water level had dropped. The churning river resumed its work on the rock below the shelf, roiling its way down the valley, leaving the oasis behind. After centuries of erosion, the shelf now gently sloped to the river.

'What do you think, Commander?'

'I haven't seen anything better. These cliffs offer good protection, and maybe the river contains edible fish. That is, if it's water to begin with.'

'Let's take a closer look.'

'Aye, Captain...descending...' Chakotay expertly placed the shuttle beside a thick stand of trees. He lowered the rear door to the ground and Kathryn stepped out, tricorder in hand. The canyon-bracketed oasis enclosed nearly 3 hectares of fairly level ground. The toe of her boot scuffed up dark, rich soil. There were a variety of trees, both fruit and nut and several oak-like behemoths that would provide building materials. She scanned the river. The tricorder registered pure, fresh water with evidence of abundant, thankfully edible fish. Chakotay examined the nearby rock walls. The most recent high-water mark was several thousand years old, he noted with satisfaction. The possibility of flooding was remote.

He reported his findings to his Captain, standing a respectful distance from her elbow. She was distant; cold, bringing all her professionalism to bear. The optimistic, even playful attitude she had once exhibited on New Earth was not in evidence; consequently he dropped all familiarity for the present and resorted to using her title, even as she used his.

'Is this satisfactory, Captain?'

She nodded. 'There's good soil and water, and sufficient raw materials. We'll consider this a permanent site, Commander.'

'We’d best get busy,’ he said, blandly. ‘Give me a few minutes in the shuttle.'

They were agreed on their destination. This was to be their home, such as it was. Janeway nodded absently and remained standing, staring at the river. The moisture reflected in her eyes could have been from the glare of the afternoon sun, or it could have been tears.  
Chakotay, exhilarated, swiftly replicated and donned comfortable clothing, woven with the patterns of his tribe. He attached the communicator and laced the sturdy boots. Heavy, backbreaking work awaited him and he was going to get comfortable. Respectfully folding his uniform, he laid it away. Kathryn's expression hardened when he emerged, and spoke sternly.

'You're out of uniform, Mister.'

He met her eyes evenly. 'I don’t think that matters any more, do you?'

‘Yes, I do. We’re not going to abandon Starfleet; abandon our principles!’

‘So despite our situation, you think it best to preserve protocol. Aye, Captain,’ was his sardonic reply.

Infuriated, Kathryn spun on her heel, stalked back to the shuttle, and closed the hatch.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late evening when Kathryn emerged from the shuttle. She’d had plenty of time to think. Chakotay was right. Giving up one life to embrace another wouldn’t be easy, but she must make the adjustment. It had been difficult, replacing her uniform with civilian clothing. She had held the Captain’s pips in her hand for a long time, staring at them; when the tears finally came, she muffled the sobs with her hands.

The single sun had set behind the tall horizons of the cliffs, casting a dusky light over the area. Strange, bright star configurations and two moons appeared for the first time. Kathryn would come to learn that the moons waxed and waned every 50 hours. Each smaller than Earth's, both bathed the night in ethereal twilight.

A curious sound echoed from nearby, reminding her of camping trips with her parents when her father would use an ancient tool he called an axe to cut wood for a fire. Never such a traditionalist, she preferred 24th century technology. What was Chakotay doing? She followed the sound. Not far from the shuttle stood the beginnings of a high foundation built upon a rise of ground sheltered by massive trees. Chakotay, his back to her, had finished shaping one of several logs and now dropped it into place. She beckoned to him.

‘You were right, of course,’ she admitted, a crooked smile flitting over her face.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘I had it coming. It’s just... it’s difficult.’

'You once told me that you survived a crash in which your father and your fiancé perished. For a long time, you couldn’t deal with it. But I know you, Kathryn. Every time you're faced with something unendurable, you still somehow endure it, and with more guts than anyone I've ever known. We’ll make it here – and you’re not alone.’

‘It takes some getting used to – the realization that we’re here for the rest of our lives. That there’s nothing we can do.

'I've been remembering something my father told me. _When nothing can be done it is a time to be busy.'_

Her eyes glinted tears in the moonlight. He held out his hand, grimy though it was, and she took it.

'Come - tell me if this meets with your approval.'

He guided her to the foundation in progress. His hands encircled her waist and lifted her easily to the high platform. Vaulting himself up, he joined her in walking the perimeter. 'I’d planned for private rooms plus a central one. Each room will have its own entrance. If you like, I'll tear the shuttle apart as soon as the house is finished and use the parts to make it more comfortable for you. I think I can make a sonic shower out of some of the equipment...'

'Remember – I prefer a bathtub – it’s my favorite way of relaxing,’ she reminded him, smiling.

He smiled back.

'I like it, Chakotay. You got so much done in one day.'

Chakotay's strong white teeth flashed in a wide grin. 'Didn't have anything else to do.'

The tension between them lessened and they laughed together, feeling some of the old camaraderie returning once more.

~ ~ ~

In the weeks that followed, very little rain impeded the strenuous activity of the days. Chakotay spent his nights on a bed of leafy branches outdoors, allowing Kathryn the privacy of the shuttle. The replicator yielded much of their food, supplemented by the plentiful fruits and nuts from the trees and fish from the river. As Chakotay labored over the cabin, Kathryn spent hours with pole and hook and worm-like creatures, catching dozens of fish, which Chakotay greedily wolfed down after each day's work. One particular night they both reached for the last fish in the pan, and Kathryn laughingly gestured for him to take it.

'You were a vegetarian once, were you not?'

'Yes,' he replied ruefully. 'But survival’s the important thing now. Still, nothing against your efforts mind you, but I'm growing tired of fish. Tomorrow morning I'll go hunting for something different - and larger.'

'Good luck – scans haven't shown much of anything over the size of a squirrel. By the way, how sharp are your _hunting_ skills?' she teased.

He grinned at her. 'I build fires much better now. True, I resisted Father’s lessons on hunting, but they stuck. And may I say, your cooking skills have certainly improved since we arrived.'

'Touché!'

'Ready to see what I added to the house today?' he asked, rising to his feet.

‘Of course.’ She grinned at him and extended her hand. He took it in both of his and helped her up. In each of their rooms, hand-hewn beds now stood, equipped with replicated, comfortable bedding. In the common area, two similarly-fashioned hand-hewn chairs and table were set invitingly before the fireplace. Kathryn ran her hands over the smooth tabletop.

'Beautiful work, Chakotay. How did you learn to do this?'

'From my father – in fact, all the fathers of my tribe taught the boys - you see, it's our custom for the entire village to raise and train children. Each child is considered to be everyone's.'

'What a marvelous custom. My mother had her hands full with just the two of us. Phoebe used to play pranks on me constantly and I'd retaliate...then we'd have to do the dishes!' She laughed ruefully. 'You've done so much to make our lives better and more comfortable. I think I'm going to like living here. But tell me, Chakotay,' her eyes suddenly twinkled with mischief and she held her hands wide, 'why only two chairs? Where shall we seat our guests?' She tried to keep a straight face but her mouth quirked with the effort and she giggled helplessly. He knew then that she had accepted the inevitable - and he joined her in her laughter.

~ ~ ~

After nearly six months of living in the cramped shell of the shuttle, the snug house was at last complete. Nestled among gigantic trees at the base of the cliff and sporting a rough exterior of logs, insulated with shuttle material, it sat high off the ground facing the river. The surrounding land, intended for planting, bordered it on two sides. Wide steps led to a covered porch that extended around it. Stone fireplaces punched through the roof to offer smoke to the sky. The interior walls were finished with smooth conifer planks, giving the rooms a homey, rustic look. The house was solidly built and everything smelled of fresh pine.

They settled in at last, and Chakotay finished the inside as promised, with parts and equipment from the dismantled craft. Kathryn's new bathtub stood behind a log partition on her side of the house, and Chakotay had erected a metal retainer, which caught sun-heated rainwater. As for himself, a run to the river was preferable to the sonic shower now installed in his private room.

Clothing, tools, seeds and other necessities had been replicated. To prolong the life of the unit, the two now brought their combined skills to bear in making what they needed from their scant raw materials. Kathryn carefully planted and cultivated the seeds into a neat vegetable garden, while Chakotay proved to be an able hunter. Foraging far up the river past the canyon in a homemade canoe, he had come upon hidden herds of large animals, mostly herbivores resembling deer and elk. Carnivores flourished here as well, judging from the evidence they left behind, but no such species had so far been seen. A type of hawk and several varieties of bird nested in the trees. From the wild game he shot with a phaser and abundant fish from the river came succulent dinners. Hides were prepared and hung to dry, and with these he made rugs, decorative wall hangings embellished with feathers, winter coats and moccasins. Kathryn sighed with pleasure when she slipped her feet into her first pair, and she wore them constantly, laying her regulation boots aside.

Chakotay had also discovered soft, cotton-like fibrous grasses growing in abundance along the river. He now turned his hands to making a loom upon which could be woven material from the grasses for clothing, blankets and other items. So unaccustomed was Kathryn to the idea that even their clothing would now have to be handmade that she balked, initially, in learning the process. Knowing, however, the strain placed on their only replicator, she reluctantly took the project in hand and soon became quite proficient. Each task was shared and gave a great deal of satisfaction to the two former Starfleet officers who now worked in tandem to make the best of the new life thrust upon them.


	4. Chapter 4

There was one particular day, nearly two years after their arrival, when Chakotay took Kathryn for a walk, leading her up the edge of the cliff on their side of the river. Eons ago, even before their shelf had formed, the river's course had deviated, carving with water and sand a small grotto set high into the rock. Chakotay had phasered steps into the rock leading up to it and had erected a stone memorial to the lost crew of Voyager. He stepped back as she approached it, letting her have the moment alone. She stood at the foot of the tall stone, reading the names of the crewmembers painstakingly carved below the ship's name and registry. _In Honorable Memory_ read the last line, and as Kathryn whispered it, she passed her fingers lovingly over the polished surface. Chakotay came to stand beside her, and she linked her arm through his.

'This was the project you wouldn't tell me about, isn't it?'

He nodded. 'They needed a grave, and I knew you didn't want to visit the site...'

'They've been given a home.'

'Yes, Kathryn...and here you will always be Captain.'

~ ~ ~

Neither spoke for a while on the long walk back from the memorial. It was an uneasy silence; memories of Voyager crowded Kathryn’s thoughts as the voices of the crew whispered to her. Chakotay, pensive for a different reason, bent and pulled a long blade of grass, playing it through his fingers. The large, comfortable cabin loomed in the distance, shaded by tall trees whispering secrets to each other in the gentle breeze. As much as he loved the simple serenity of what they had created, something was missing, and it seemed only he knew what it was. Perhaps the time had come to speak of it now.

'Kathryn, there's been something I've wanted to talk to you about for some time now...'

She answered him with only half her mind. 'What is it, Chakotay?'

'About what I said - that at the memorial you would always be Captain. We've been here for over a year and a half now. It's for good this time. We've built a far different life from what we had before. So who are you - now?'

'I'm not sure what you mean.'

'We’ve faced some hard facts. We're not Starfleet any more. We’re not Captain and First Officer any more. I know you’ve accepted it – I’ve accepted it. It’s not what was planned, but it's what is. Here we are, the two of us, together. Hell, we don't even have friends, neighbors or relatives. All we have is each other. When you're here with _me_ , Kathryn...who are you?'

'I'm your friend, Chakotay – and I'm a woman who proceeds very cautiously. I haven't figured it out yet.'

They walked again in silence for a long time. Chakotay spoke again, eyes fastened on the strand of grass in his hands.

'Are you aware that I'm in love with you?' he asked quietly, not looking at her.

She stopped abruptly. 'Yes, I know. I've known for quite some time.' She regarded him sadly, but a kind of obstinacy flitted over her face.

He met her gaze. 'For years...I've tried to live according to the parameters you once set. I've tried hard not to cross those lines. But what is there now that we should continue to draw lines? It's different now; it's all so simple. We have nothing else...but each other.'

'I know, Chakotay. But you once told me I would need time to deal with what happened to Voyager. I'm telling you now that I'll need time to deal with this.'

He dropped the grass and took her hands in his. 'I want only your happiness, your contentment. It means a great deal to me; it always has.'

'You've always put me first, haven't you? What about your contentment, Chakotay? Your happiness?'

'I've been content to live here with you, building what we have together, but we've been doing it as a team, as colleagues. What would make me happy? I want us to create a life here together...as one. I want to marry you, Kathryn.'

She stood silent, forlorn, looking down at their clasped hands.

'Would you at least think about it?'

'I will. I'll think about it. I promise.'

He nodded and released her hands. Kathryn sensed that he wanted to kiss her, but he did not. He simply turned and continued toward the house. They arrived at her door; he held it open for her and stepped back.

'Goodnight, Kathryn. Sleep well.'

She went inside without a word.

In his own room, Chakotay seated himself on the floor, softly singing the ancient chants of his people while he carefully opened the new medicine bundle, made from the softly tanned skin of a rabbit-like creature. Hardened kernels of raw corn - multi-colored feathers - one dyed deep red and split to denote many battle wounds - a stone carved in the symbols of his tribe from the bed of their river - bundles of sage and sweetgrass - and a newly-replicated akoonah were reverently laid out. He began the meditation that would continue far into the night. With hands clasped tightly over the carved stone, he beseeched the gentle animal guide of his vision quests to turn Kathryn's spirit onto the path of the true human being and to guide her straight into his arms.

~ ~ ~

The vision quest and the peace of the night were shattered by screams. Chakotay was up in an instant; snatching the medkit and a phaser, he raced outside and around to her door. Fearing some sort of intruder, although who or what he didn't know, he burst in without permission. Kathryn lay tossing in bed, apparently in the clutches of a nightmare so intense that her body was drenched in sweat. She cried out incoherently in her sleep but he made out two names: _Tuvok...Harry..._ She cried for Voyager and the pain of its loss... He cursed himself for taking her to the memorial, perhaps too soon, and pressuring her with his talk. He took her by the shoulders and called to her softly.

She jerked awake, wide-eyed and fearful. She looked so distraught that he dared to gather her into his arms and hold her close to him. She accepted the embrace, grateful for the warmth of his body, the broad chest upon which to lay her head and the strong arms now supporting her quivering body. She felt his lips brush her hair ever so lightly.

'It was just a dream. Everything's all right now.' He wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and reached for a towel. 'Here - wipe your face. Do you want some water?'

She shook her head, still trying to orient herself. 'It _was_ only a dream - wasn't it?'

'A pretty bad one, apparently. Do you remember it?'

She was regaining her composure and sat back out of his arms. She blotted sweat from her brow. 'It was so - vivid! Like a holodeck program. It was that first night, and you and I were there when the ship...' She pressed the towel to her mouth for a moment. He waited for her to go on. '...and then all of them...appeared before me...one by one...'

'Have you had that dream often since it happened?'

She shook her head. 'Only this once.'

'Kathryn, may I make a suggestion?'

'What are you doing?'

Chakotay had placed a hypospray against her neck and shot sedative into her system. He took her shoulders and leaned her back onto the pillows.

'I want you to rest tonight,' he said as he covered her. 'Tomorrow night I’ll take you on a vision quest. I think I know what the dream meant but I want your animal guide to tell you.'

'How could it possibly know?' she asked sleepily.

'It knows more than you give it credit for. Trust me. I took you there, once before. You know the visions are real. They will help you.'

'All right. Tomorrow night, then.'

'Tomorrow night. Sleep now.'

He rose to go. She reached for his arm and he looked back at her.

'Chakotay - thank you. You're always there when I need you.'

'I always will be, Kathryn.'

He closed her door behind him and sighed. Perhaps the vision quest would help her let go the past with one hand to reach for him with the other.


	5. Chapter 5

After the evening meal, Chakotay left the house carrying his medicine bundle and two blankets. He had a small fire blazing by the time Kathryn joined him. They sat together for a moment, breathing in the cool night air and enjoying the fire, relaxing after the day's work. Presently Chakotay broke the silence.

'The Sisters are not dancing tonight. My father used to say that – on Trebus. We had two moons there also.'

Kathryn glanced toward the starry heavens. The firelight glowed softly in the night, illuminating Kathryn's pale complexion and reflecting highlights in her reddish-brown hair. She was just in time to catch his admiring glance and smiled at him.

'Ready?'

She nodded. He laid out the sacred tokens and guided her hand to the akoonah. She took a deep breath as the essence of the ancient peyote coursed through her system. Then he closed her hands over his sacred stone and bade her repeat the words he had taught her: ' _Akoocheemoya_. Far from the lands of my ancestors. Far from the bones of my people. I come seeking your wisdom. Take me into my dream; tell me its meaning. _Akoocheemoya.'_

She closed her eyes. Chakotay softly whispered instructions and encouragement until he was sure she was safely in the spirit realm. He watched the journey in her expressive face. How he wished he could journey with her, but the walk was for her alone. He listened to the night sounds while he waited. The fire died down and he replenished it, for the night was growing colder.

Presently she sighed and opened her eyes. She sat for a moment, reorienting herself to the here and now, staring into the fire as if reliving what she had just seen.

'Kathryn?'

'I think I understand now. It was incredible...incredible.' She spoke more to herself than to him.

Kathryn's admission was nothing short of a miracle; spirituality had never been her strong point. 'What did the vision teach you?'

The firelight flickered over her face; Chakotay watched a myriad of emotions played out there: astonishment, a revelation of something not previously believed. 'It wasn’t so much a lesson as a message. Tuvok spoke to me...through my animal guide, I guess. He told me the crew was saying farewell...for now. That I would one day see them again. I could sense them as real as you are to me. Maybe there _is_ life after death! Then Tuvok told me...' She tilted her head and glanced up at Chakotay. He waited, patiently. 'He told me to be happy here...with you,' she said, her voice cracking. 'An incredible statement from Tuvok, even in a dream. Then he told me not to worry, for they were journeying on.'

'You and I may have perceived your nightmare as such, Kathryn, but it was a kind of communication. The spirit world is powerful and can be reached only with the right mind. Tuvok knew you would hold your grief deep within you - it's your way. You've held the grief of your father...Justin Tighe...and Mark...deep inside you all these years. But it's not the way to live, especially not here...not now. Did your animal guide tell you anything else?'

'It asked me if I feared growing close to you. Told me not to be. But I can't let go...not yet. Chakotay...you're so certain of your feelings, and I...' she gestured helplessly, reluctant to say anything that would speak of commitment. Not yet. Not even if her animal guide ordered her to do so.

'Relax, Kathryn. If your feelings for me progress, then we will follow the progression. If they do not, we’ll live with the fact that they won’t. What’s important now, and why I wanted you to speak with your animal guide, is for you to understand how to interpret your dreams and how to keep yourself centered.'

'And to know the crew is at peace.'

'The crew is at peace. Let the knowledge of that be enough for now.'

With tears still standing in her eyes, she nodded and smiled her thanks. She rose, rested her hand on his shoulder for a brief moment then started back to the house. Chakotay stayed on at the fire, silently staring into it, for a long time.

~ ~ ~

Season after season passed, filled with work, quiet contentment, and even play. Chakotay had fashioned a diving board on the bank and most of his spare time was spent swimming laps back and forth across the river. A laced leather ball served for occasional one-on-one soccer matches. Kathryn, once proficient at tennis, endeavored to teach Chakotay with a replicated ball and homemade rackets, but he balked. The replicator also yielded three-tiered chess and a few other games, which they found sufficient.

The new storehouse stood full for the winter months and light snows blanketed everything in soft shades of white. Evenings were spent before the roaring fireplace debating issues, sharing memories, stories, and laughter in warm companionship. With each new skill Chakotay taught Kathryn, he imparted the wisdom of his tribe and his own philosophy. There was much to learn about this complex man with whom she had spent so many years, yet did not fully know. His wit was sharp, flecked with a dry humor that had her frequently helpless with laughter.

His stories about his background fascinated her; those of his childhood, of being labeled a contrary among his people, of his desire for a different life that eventually opened a rift between himself and his beloved father. He told her of his determination to join Starfleet that led to his entrance into the Academy at an early age, sponsored by the grandson of the famous Captain Hikaru Sulu of the USS Enterprise.

She listened to his perspective of the development of relations between the Federation and Cardassia that finally tore him loose from the precepts of the Federation that he had upheld so diligently. She would nod sympathetically, trying to see the problem from his point of view, but her firm faith in the infallibility of the Federation made it hard for her to truly understand. He told her of his initial difficulty in melding his crew with hers after the Caretaker incident; on that issue she could easily relate, as she swapped him story for story.

She in turn regaled him with tales of her background, growing up with sister Phoebe. The constant struggle to impress her father, tales of her numerous escapades as a Science Officer, her capture by the Cardassians, her first command and her initial dislike of Tuvok when he had her called before a board of inquiry on discrepancies in her performance on her first mission. She told him of the uneasy alliance she held with Voyager's first executive officer, Commander Cavit, and of pulling Tom out of prison to help her track down the Maquis. She didn't soften the truth about her determination to capture the renegade ship he had commanded. With a sleek new Intrepid-Class starship and an on-board informer, she was certain of success.

'You didn't figure on the Caretaker, though, did you?'

'No. However, even after all this time I still stand by my decision to destroy the array. What's amazing to me is how events have unfolded since then.'

In their frequent, sometimes heart-to-heart talks, Chakotay was always careful not to say anything that went too deep below the surface. His patience held steady. It was their third year on the planet and he constantly carried the hope that one day Kathryn would come to love him as much as he loved her. All he had to do was wait.


	6. Chapter 6

Chakotay had long ago converted a small, deep cavern situated behind a wide outcropping of rock high above the house, into a sweat lodge. Visible only from the river, a natural rocky ridge formed a passable walkway to it. A low wall of stone partially protected it, behind which a deep, narrow crevice led to an interior room. He blasted the crevice with a phaser until it was wide enough to enter then constructed a thatched door. Now and then he bid Kathryn goodbye and disappeared for days at a time to withstand purification. He would always take his comm badge so that she could contact him in case of emergency; otherwise they allowed each other complete privacy.

At such times Kathryn would examine her feelings in her own way. Among them, she was surprised to find a calm sense of peace and contentment with him; a sense of completeness; of security. These feelings, she realized, could be categorized as love, for she had grown to love his strength of character and his integrity. She loved his quiet manner; never had he lost his temper. If he disagreed with her, there was intelligent, verbal debate, never raised voices. She had known more than one man in her life whom resorted to that and other, harsher tactics, and appreciated the fact that Chakotay exhibited none of those traits. She saw the results of his hard work to make life here as good as possible for both of them. In fact, as time wore on, the more she studied him, the more she found to love in him.

Her mind would turn to past relationships. Her fiancée, Justin, dead for many years now. He had saved her life once, when she had been captured by the Cardassians. They had begun much as she and Chakotay, virtual enemies, then a grudging tolerance which later ripened into friendship and love. She had never had the opportunity to give herself wholly to him before he was killed. Her lover, Mark, whom she had left behind on Earth, whose picture along with all her other mementos had been destroyed, incinerated with Voyager. Mark had been a scholar, shy and proper, and while his slightly clumsy lovemaking had been satisfying, at times it had left her feeling as though something was missing.

Unbidden now came the thought of Chakotay in an intimate role, far different from any in which she had imagined him. She had first heard of him from her superior officers and was under orders to capture this Maquis felon. After their ill-fated voyage into the Delta Quadrant, he evolved into her not-quite-trusted XO in an uneasy alliance. He proved himself, earned her trust and respect, and their friendship established itself. A few years later saw their time together on New Earth. She felt his attraction to her, and when he had at last gently approached her, she had kept him at arm's length. Voyager had come back for them. They reverted to friendly camaraderie, bracketed by professionalism, and that was as far as she would let the relationship go.

_What would he be like as a lover?_ she wondered. It had been so many years now; Kathryn had almost forgotten how to respond to a man. Her responsibilities as a starship Captain and concern for her crew had consumed her entire being. Time was now fading the memory of the person she had been, and the woman in Kathryn was awakening to a new awareness after having been left in virtual stasis for so long. _What would he be like?_ Her thoughts churned with images: the firelight playing over his darkly handsome face as he bent over some craft late in the evening...his strong, capable hands creating things to improve their lives...his impeccable grooming... except, of course, she grinned to herself, after a hard day's work, when he refused to come in coated with grime, but headed straight for the river. She pictured those times in her mind, when she would catch herself admiring him from her window as he worked shirtless in the sunlight. Initially she had discreetly retreated to her room afterward to make herself busy. Out of habit, she had too long denied herself the slightest acknowledgment that she might, after all, be just a woman. Now she questioned her long celibacy.

~ ~ ~

The fourth cold season on the as yet unnamed planet had passed and the snows had quickly melted away. The trees were budding out and warmer winds brought promise of the long freshening season when the planet rejuvenated and lush green plants flourished. With her scientist's mind, Kathryn had ascertained the years to be spans of fifteen months, with spring and summer lasting a few weeks longer than on Old Earth, and the cold season thankfully somewhat milder than the brutal Indiana winters she remembered so well.

The twenty-five-hour days allowed much to be accomplished and Chakotay was busy from dawn to dark, seemingly driving himself, often working by moonlight on those nights when the twin moons were once again in the sky. The house had been enlarged and small structures had been erected; one for smoking meats and one for storage; and a cooler of sorts had been phasered out of the rock near the river.

Although there had been lean times, nothing truly traumatic in the years they had spent alone on the planet had yet come to plague the two people until one summer day when the sky darkened swiftly, ominously; catching them unprepared outside, far from the house.

The day began with unusually high temperatures, and as Chakotay pulled corn from tall stalks he went shirtless in the heat. Later in the day, however, the wind cooled and its velocity increased. For a short time, as they labored to bring small stones on a travois with which to build pathways around the compound, they relished the cooler breeze, but within an hour the temperature dropped dramatically and continued falling until it was quite cold. Strengthening winds howled through the canyon and whipped the current of the river into high whitecaps. Dust and dirt swirled through the air, blinding the two as they scrambled for shelter. The light faded as thick, swiftly-moving clouds of purple and dusky-black blotted out the sun, and from them came great bolts of lightning soon followed by a sort of hail: huge chunks of ice weighing several kilograms or more.

There was no time to try for the house. Chakotay grabbed Kathryn's arm and began pulling her up the ridge toward his sweat lodge. The ground shook as the gigantic hail hit. Fighting the wind, they slowly made their way upward to the rocky ledge. Chakotay glanced up to see a chunk of ice descending on Kathryn; he yanked her beneath him and took the glancing blow on his shoulder. Ignoring the pain, bleeding profusely, he regained his footing and shoved her on up the path. The natural stone wall afforded slight protection from the wind but not the ice, and Kathryn was struck by several smaller chunks before he could push aside the crudely thatched door, shove her in and dive in after her.

Kathryn had never seen the interior of the lodge; it represented something private, exclusively his, and she had stayed away. Bent double under the low ceiling of a short corridor, feeling her way, she stepped cautiously ahead until the rock above her opened up. In suffocating dark, she stood completely still until Chakotay moved past her. She heard him move about and presently saw a spark then small flames flickered as moss and dry wood ignited. The flames swiftly grew, sucked higher by the wind from the open door. Chakotay fed the fire until the glowing light illuminated and warmed the inside. Kathryn looked around with interest. The igloo-shaped room had been carved by water eons ago. High above, circular formations gave evidence of fierce whirlpools and a few drip formations cast flickering shadows. Hides were laid out on the sandy floor. Rocks and a container of water stood in a corner, and surrounding the fire in the center was a stone trough. Chakotay pulled the door to and weighted the corners with some of the rocks in an attempt to keep out most of the wind, then returned to warm his hands by the fire. He and Kathryn drew close to its warmth, listening helplessly to the howling, pounding fury outside.


	7. Chapter 7

The winds roared, sucking the door away. Small ice chunks bounced inside. Kathryn scrambled for these smaller pieces of ice and threw them into the heated stone trough, where they melted. Tentatively tasting, she recognized ordinary water, which soon boiled in the stone. She tore a large portion off her skirt and entreated Chakotay to turn around so that she could bathe his wound. The ice had gouged deep slashes across his shoulder and back, bruising the area severely. He clenched his teeth as Kathryn's gentle fingers probed but detected no fractures. She did the best she could without the medkit.

'Are you sure this is summer?’ he tried to joke.

‘According to my records it is. I hope this won't be a frequent occurrence,' she told him, pressing a clean portion of skirt cloth to the wound.

'We've been lucky up to now, but we'll have plenty of repairs to make after it's over. I'm glad now I built the roof with the split logs. Took a hell of a lot of work, but it may hold against the ice. I've never seen anything like this. What concerns me most is the lack of warning before it hit.'

'It came up faster than that ion storm on New Earth, remember?'

'I remember. I wasn’t sure the shelter would hold.'

Kathryn allowed herself a small smile, remembering how he had come to her in the forest, braving the winds and ion flashes, to take her to safety. How they huddled together beneath the table in the fragile shelter, spooning almost intimately, his arms around her, warm, strong and comforting.

'I'll add this to our data. Any recurrences should show the pattern to these storms. We already know to be wary of the conditions we experienced today. There may be other signs we can watch for.'

'I think we should be more prepared – maybe build a shelter closer to the house before another one hits.'

'Good idea.'

The cold wind made the fire flicker. Kathryn shivered involuntarily. Chakotay got up to fashion a barrier of rocks across the opening while she placed more wood on the fire and dropped a few more ice chunks in to boil. Chakotay returned to the fire, warming his hands.

'Care for some tea?' he asked. 'It's all I have up here.'

'What, no coffee?' she joked. 'Actually, if it's hot, I'm glad to have it.'

He dipped the only cup into the boiling water and dropped loose tea into it. They shared it, passing the cup back and forth. The pounding of the ice had at last ceased, and the cold wind had died down somewhat, but now came a driving, hard rain that they knew would very likely last all night. Chakotay's dark eyes met hers over the cup as she passed it to him.

'We'll have to sleep here tonight, Kathryn.'

'I know.'

She handed him the cup. Picking up hides and blankets, she arranged them on the sand as Chakotay fed the fire. There was still some wood, but not enough to last the night.

'When the wood's gone, it's going to get cold in here,' he said. 'The stone may still give off some warmth, but we may have to rely on body heat.'

'The best of Starfleet survival training,' she grinned. 'Wait. Your shoulder is bleeding again. Not much, but you need another compress. That one's wet through.'

He watched her tear another piece from her dress. 'You keep that up and you won't be wearing anything,' he said before he thought.

She glanced sharply at him. Suddenly, his dark eyes were naked with need for her. Uncertain, she dropped her gaze to his shoulder, where the pressure from her hands had stopped the bleeding. He placed one hand over both of hers and when she looked again into his eyes, moved slightly closer. She knelt expectantly, not moving, keeping her eyes locked with his as he slowly approached, lightly brushing her lips with his own. She made no protest as his lips returned to fall on hers, then her cheek, then her ear. He spoke her name softly, as if calling her to journey with him to a new level of existence; a level fraught with uncertainty for her, a mountain she feared to climb. But as he took her hand and led her gently forward, then ever higher, it seemed less and less hazardous. She was safe in his hands. The time had been long in coming. He needed her; she needed him. So it was without protest, she relaxed and followed where he led, allowing him to take her on the journey.

They regained their breath in the semi-darkness. Chakotay rested beside Kathryn, kissing her softly. Tears of joy ran down her cheeks and he brushed them away. The fire was dying down and he lay close beside her to keep her warm in the night. He kissed her once more and cradled her head against his good shoulder. The wind still whistled, but the tempo of the rain had changed. He lifted his head to listen. The storm was dissipating. He would have told Kathryn, but she was asleep in his arms.

~ ~ ~

The first glaring rays of morning sun ricocheted past the rocky entrance, waking Chakotay. He quickly dressed and stepped out of the sweat lodge onto the ledge to examine the damage from the storm. From this high vantage, the house looked intact. The garden was pounded into the ground and the storage shed would require repairs. Massive holes containing melted water pocked the ground and several trees lay uprooted. The diving board was gone, either swept away by the current or knocked away by the ice. _We were damned lucky_ , he thought - then turned as Kathryn laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. He felt awkward for a moment. He had instigated last night, however gently, but though she had joined him with a passion matching his own, he now wondered what her reaction would be in the light of day. He gestured toward the damaged compound.

'It's not as bad as I thought it would be.'

'Neither was last night,' she teased, and was rewarded with his broad smile.

'I can rebuild.'

'After your shoulder heals, Chakotay. There's plenty of time.'

He took her into his arms and held her close. In that instant, Kathryn bade farewell forever to one of two distinct people within her; a stern starship Captain and a vibrant woman. The woman in her had been set free. The thudding of her heart matched his. He had shown her there was nothing to fear. She needed no vision quest to understand that at last, the comfort of his gentle companionship had finally ripened into love.

'Kathryn,' he whispered close to her ear, 'I was going to give you forever if you needed it. But last night - I couldn't hold back.'

Her soft kisses told him he owed no apologies or explanations. Then he heard the words she whispered back to him, words he had so long awaited.

'Don't ever hold back again, Chakotay. There's no need. I’m in love with you.'


	8. Chapter 8

The house had suffered only slight damage. Chakotay was able to make minor repairs to the porch railings shattered by the ice and filled in some of the potholes, while Kathryn reworked the garden. Their one remaining phaser easily cut the felled trees; they now lay stacked neatly as firewood. The wind had carried off the metal retainer and had overturned Kathryn's bathtub. Those repairs, along with building a new tool shed, would have to wait until Chakotay's shoulder had healed. At the end of the day they sat together, tired and happy, over coffee and tea. Chakotay broke the silence, staring down into his cup.

'Kathryn, did you mean what you said? Are you sure?'

She placed her hand over his. 'Yes, Chakotay. I meant it. And I'm sure.'

Unsure of her reaction to his next question, he glanced up at her, reluctant to ask it. She saw the indecision in his eyes. _Old habits_ , she thought. _I'm going to have to re-train him._

'What is it, Chakotay?'

'Might we marry now, Kathryn?'

'We'd have to conduct the ceremony ourselves, you know.'

In her oblique way she had just given him the answer he wanted more than anything. Grinning widely, he said,

'Your traditions or mine?'

'Why not a combination of our cultures?'

'All right. When?'

'Soon...very soon...my _darling_.'

~ ~ ~

In a month roughly corresponding to late summer on Old Earth, Kathryn studied the weather data. Storms must be avoided if at all possible, for the wedding would take place under the stars. All too soon, the day was at hand. A flowing, softly draped gown adorned Kathryn, and her long hair swept past her shoulders. Chakotay had made for her a crown of delicate flowers. Clad in the costume of his tribe, with colorful beading banded twice above the elbow and over each shoulder in the same pattern, Chakotay’s slightly gray hair was clipped close on the left side above the ear, revealing the continuation of the tribal tattoo that ran to the side of his head. Despite clouds forming on the evening horizon in spite of Kathryn's careful planning, the two moons shone brilliantly. They stood together on the rise of land that bordered the river, ready to proclaim their love and devotion to the only witnesses they had.

Chakotay's hands were cupped lightly around something that flitted within the framework of his fingers. He opened them slightly for her to see. Gently held in those powerful hands was the most beautiful butterfly Kathryn had ever seen, graceful and delicate. As she regarded the creature, he whispered a legend in her ear: 'If you desire a wish to come true, Kathryn, first capture a butterfly and whisper the wish to it. It makes no sound, so it will not tell the wish to anyone but the Sky Spirits. Your wish will be carried to them and thus will be granted.'

'Kathryn,' he continued, 'long ago, when we arrived here, I sent a butterfly like this one to the sky, carrying a wish that you might one day love me as I loved you. The Sky Spirits granted that wish. Now we will wish together for a long and happy life here. We'll repeat our vows to the two moons in the night sky. When we look at them on the nights of their visitations, they will remind us of what we have promised each other.'

Kathryn lightly cupped her hands over his and the butterfly flitted within the framework of their joined fingers. As one, they released it and watched it flutter higher and higher, finally disappearing in the twilight. Smiling down at Kathryn, Chakotay took her hands.

'I now solemnly promise you, Kathryn Janeway, to be all a husband can be to a wife. You will require my loyalty. I vow to be loyal. You will require my body. It is yours. You will require my heart. I have it not to give, for it left me to join with yours long ago. You will require companionship. I vow to be your companion. You will require my strength. It is in your service. Now we will feel no cold, for we each will be warmth to the other. Now we will feel no hunger, for we each will be nourishment to the other. Now we will feel no loneliness, for we will be one.'

He brought from his pocket identical, polished stone bands carefully carved with the symbol of his tribe - the same symbol which was traced for all time into his forehead when he was a young man. He slipped Kathryn's small one onto her finger and gave her his own. She took his hand in hers. Then, drawing from memory words with which she had joined many crewmembers in matrimony in her role as Captain and adding words of her own, she spoke: 'I, Kathryn Janeway, take thee, Chakotay, as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.'

She slipped his ring onto his finger. 'With this ring, I thee wed, Chakotay, my husband, forsaking all others. I will be all that a wife can be. I pledge to you my eternal love. Stay with me always through hardship and trials, and may we grow old together.'

They raised their faces to the twin moons and their voices joined in the fading light: 'See us, O Sisters of the Night. Hear us, Sky Spirits, and know that we are one.'

Chakotay enfolded his bride in his arms and kissed her softly. Her face glowed with happiness. The soft wind ruffled the grasses nearby and brought the scent of rain, and the two moons retired behind the darkening clouds as though to give the newlyweds their privacy. Chakotay lifted Kathryn into his arms, her white dress billowing in the breeze, and carried her into the house, into the room formerly his, now theirs. The storm broke once they were inside. Rain showered, then thundered, on the roof.

'So much for good weather on our wedding day, Kathryn,' he teased as he placed her on her feet.

'It waited long enough! It doesn't matter now, as long as it doesn't hail.'

'If it does, there's always the sweat lodge...'

At the memory of that time, the light-hearted banter ceased and the two stood close together, joyful in their union, warm and dry in their home. The drum of the rain provided powerful music for the two whose first union had done nothing to diminish the wonder of this, their wedding night. After their final kiss, Kathryn drifted to sleep, happy and content. As for Chakotay, his spirit soared into the night with gratitude to the little butterfly which had so faithfully delivered his wish. The rain had slowed now to a gentle patter, and lulled him to sleep as well.


	9. Chapter 9

Another massive hailstorm returned in the thirteenth month of the second year of their marriage and Kathryn noted it in her log. Tracking the frequency patterns was an important part of preparation as well as the deep storm shelter Chakotay had phasered out of the base of the cliff. The patterns indicated infrequent occurrences that could only be explained by the meteorological patterns of this particular planet. Without proper scientific equipment there was no way of knowing exactly when the storms would strike. High ambient temperatures, then a sudden, harsh cold wind was sure to precede one, and at the first signs, the two would head for the cliff-shelter which had been outfitted for their comfort. The sturdy house, nestled as it was within the wide stand of massive trees, continued to escape serious damage.

Kathryn noted a change in Chakotay after their marriage, and she wondered if she herself had changed in the same manner. The angry warrior was gone; in his place, a man whose laugh was more frequent and whose smile was constant. Hardships and work were less of a burden when shared with a soulmate. She wondered if they had been destined to be soulmates or had they simply grown so accustomed to each other over the years here that it was inevitable? She didn't know. She didn't care. He made her happy and she in turn made him happy. That was all that seemed important any more.

Six months into the third year of their union Kathryn took Chakotay's hand and held it against her belly. The gentle flutter he felt there made his heart pound with excitement. He gathered her into his arms, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. He had long despaired of ever becoming a father and had hoped, month by month, that at last another wish of his would be fulfilled.

Kathryn took every precaution as her pregnancy progressed. She was advanced in age for the birth of her first child and this gave them both concern. The comm badges proved invaluable on the infrequent times they were separated. These, the one phaser and a few components of the medkit were now the only working elements left of Voyager. Chakotay frequently accompanied Kathryn to the shrine in the niche. A peaceful longing had settled in her heart, and she could think of her lost crew now with fond memories. Chakotay would carefully help her up the carved stone steps, gently scolding her every step of the way, but she insisted on going. Exercise was necessary! As the pregnancy progressed, she grew somewhat irritable and quite shy about her appearance. All Chakotay saw was beauty. At the most basic instinctive level, he felt pride in himself and love for her at the sight of her large, rounded form. He would stand behind her on the porch and stroke her gently, feeling the small, quick bulges that were tiny hands or feet pressing out against her stomach. He would bury his face in her hair and whisper his love. She would stand contentedly in his arms, loving him despite her constant state of anxious anticipation.

~ ~ ~

One mild winter day Kathryn was at the river throwing frybread pieces to the waterbirds when a contraction, swift and hard, took her breath away. She tried calling Chakotay and couldn't. He was on the roof, preparing it for the next anticipated storm. Bent double, she half-crawled, half-walked toward the house, calling him every time she gained enough breath to do so. She fell hard and her water broke, soaking her dress and the ground. The relief of the pressure allowed enough air into her lungs for her to yell a little louder, 'Chakotay!! _Chakotay!’!_ The wind finally carried her voice to him. He looked up sharply. Throwing down his tools, he was down the ladder in a flash, running to her.

'Kathryn! The baby?'

'Yes, it's coming,' she groaned, 'it's coming - so - fast! It's not supposed to be this fast! -- _Oh_!'

'You never do anything the easy way; you never did,' he informed her, lifting her bulky form into his arms. 'Your father once said that about you, didn't he?'

She couldn't answer him. She gritted her teeth, gripping his neck as he hurried into the house with her. He stripped her wet clothing off and placed her on the bed, covering her lightly with a sheet. He washed his hands thoroughly and brought towels and the medkit, water and the new baby blanket Kathryn had made.

'Remember your breathing, Kathryn. Get in control of it.'

'I'm trying...but...I can't! It's too...hard...it's happening too...fast!' she panted, on the verge of panic.

'Look at me, Kathryn. Look at me! Breathe, like this.' She fastened her eyes on his as he showed her. A hypospray helped calm her. 'That's right, now blow out. Harder. Now take a deep breath. Relax. I'm right here.'

With his calm, steady voice and confident coaching, Kathryn gained a rhythm that she was able to maintain through the next two hours. Then the rhythm changed and he could tell from her expression that she was pushing. He lifted the sheet, strangely calm now compared to his terrified nervousness earlier in her pregnancy at the thought of delivering his own child. Kathryn followed his instructions, bearing down with all her might.

'Push, Kathryn. You're doing fine. Just fine. Now push again. _Push_!'

With steady hands, Chakotay guided his child into the world. He issued one last command for Kathryn to push and the baby was born.

His daughter! Thick black hair, with Kathryn's blue eyes. Perfect in her infant beauty. Alert and awake, she didn't cry. Rather, she regarded her father with a delightful mixture of stern authority and haughty pride in her eyes. He let out a choked sob then closed his eyes and touched her tiny forehead to his own.

Kathryn fell back exhausted and cried and laughed. Chakotay wrapped the baby in her blanket and laid her on her mother's breast. He turned his attention to Kathryn and delivered the placenta, wrapping the cord securely. He would place it in the sun at the river; when it dried he would give it to Kathryn to sew into a turtle-shaped amulet for the baby, to give her strength and long life. He bathed Kathryn and made her comfortable. Then reaction set in and he sank down beside the bed, quivering, watching mother and child bond together. A more beautiful sight he had never seen. The baby's tiny fists pressed into her mother's breast as she nursed. Chakotay caressed the baby's hand with his fingers. He reached under the blanket and took one of her tiny feet in his hand. It distracted her and she kicked. Kathryn reached out tiredly and laid her hand on his cheek. 'What shall we name her, Chakotay?'

He turned his head to the side as he continued gaze at and caress their baby. 'I've given it a lot of thought. I'd like to give her one name from two of the bravest women I ever knew. It's the way of my people. She'll draw strength from the two names she bears all through her life.'

'And those are...?'

He looked up at her. 'Kathryn...and...B'Elanna.'

Kathryn smiled down at her child, still greedily nursing. 'Kathryn B'Elanna, daughter of the son of Kolopak, welcome to our lives. May you live long...and prosper.'


	10. Epilogue

The ground shook, harder than seismic activity on Earth, and a window-rattling roar brought the aging couple hurrying out of their cabin. Ka'lanna, as they had nicknamed their daughter long ago, came hurrying from the garden. She was a mature woman now, still full of promise and sunshine; the joy of their lives. Chakotay put his arms protectively around both women. All three gazed, astonished, for a starship hovered over the rim of their canyon. Not a shuttlecraft - a full-sized starship. Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay had seen one in decades, and Ka'lanna had never seen one. The wind rippled Chakotay's gray hair and whipped the women’s long strands about their faces. Kathryn frantically cleared her graying hair away from her eyes and stepped away from Chakotay's arm, for something was hauntingly familiar about the configuration of that ship.

She was suddenly distracted by whirling glitter and a high-pitched whine only a few meters away. The swirls coalesced into humanoid form, into a very dark-skinned, white-haired man with pointed ears and upswept brows. Chakotay lunged forward to catch his wife; Kathryn's knees had given way. She clung to him for support. Ka'lanna hurried to help her mother and Chakotay left them to step forward, hand extended to greet a man they had both thought long dead.

'Commander. I regret the shock my sudden appearance has caused you and the Captain. We sent preliminary messages but apparently...' Tuvok paused as he took in the compound with its rustic buildings, reminding him of a picture of ancient Earth he had once seen, 'you have no means of communication.'

_'Tuvok?!'_

'Yes, Commander. It has been many years since we have seen each other.'

'You haven’t lost your knack for understatement...'

'I will explain. Shall we take Captain Janeway into the house?'

'Kathryn.....Captain Janeway and I.....are married, Tuvok.....this is our daughter, Ka'lanna.'

'I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss. May I assist you, Commander?'

Together they carried a stunned Kathryn inside, where a cold drink revived her enough to realize that it was, indeed, Tuvok seated there before her, now advanced to the rank of Admiral, with lines of age etching his dark face. _How? What was he telling her? The ship outside was indeed Voyager, her Voyager?_

'That is correct, Captain. Voyager was not - as you had apparently thought - destroyed.'

Kathryn listened intently as Tuvok revealed his version of the event, nearly forty years ago, which had left them stranded. Chakotay then related what they had seen from the planet's surface. Tuvok continued, bringing them into the present.

'Voyager was descending to land as ordered, when the ship was forced into an undetected wormhole within an area of the liquid space opened by Species 8472. The explosion, which coincides with what you describe seeing, was the destruction by our weapons of several of the nearby alien ships. At the time, I was certain that Voyager would also be destroyed. In that context, you apparently heard my last transmission. After that, the comm signal went down.'

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn. The glass in her hands was not entirely steady. He gently took it from her, set it on the table and motioned Tuvok to continue. 'When I determined that remaining within the wormhole was the best course of action, even if it meant leaving you behind, I attempted to contact you - telepathically. I never knew if you received my message...'

A very old memory stirred. Kathryn glanced at Chakotay. _The nightmare!_ 'The dreamwalk, Chakotay - could that have been - ?'

He nodded. 'She received it, Tuvok,' replied Chakotay.

'The wormhole in which we found ourselves was stable, but slow,' the old man continued. 'Warp Five was our fastest speed. The elapsed time from the moment you last saw us until we emerged - again in liquid space, in the Beta Quadrant - was nearly 30 years. If it had not been for the wormhole, which altered the timeline considerably, we would not have found you alive upon our return.'

'Kathryn heard your telepathic message two years after our arrival here. We both took it to mean your death,' said Chakotay.

'If you recall, Captain, we were short on supplies,' Tuvok continued. 'Because the ship rode on the momentum within the wormhole, we diverted power from the impulse engines to the replicators. Still, we were on strict rationing. Once in the Beta Quadrant, Seven of Nine configured a portal from the fluidic wormhole into normal space. We then set a course for Deep Space Nine.'

'After our arrival, when I explained to Starfleet Command that two of our officers had been left behind, it took an additional 5 years for Starfleet scientists to reconfigure the conditions with which to again access the wormhole. With added levels of warp speed, we returned to this part of the Delta Quadrant in only a matter of months.'

'It may interest you both to know,' continued Tuvok, 'that the new wormhole has been tested and found stable at both entry and exit. There has been no sign of Species 8472 in or near it in all this time. It was named in honor of the first known Starfleet vessel to access it. It is called _The Voyager Passage._

Chakotay broke in. 'Why did they have to take so long to reconfigure the conditions, Tuvok? Seven of Nine configured the portal, and I seem to remember her accessing fluidic space when we first encountered 8472. The Borg had been there before.'

Tuvok, emotionless though he was, looked reluctant to be the bearer of bad news. 'Seven of Nine had grown apprehensive at the thought of returning to the Alpha Quadrant. We can only assume that she felt she could not face life in her semi-Borg state in an area of space previously brutalized by the Borg. She feared retaliation. She became more and more despondent. She ejected herself from one of the airlocks not long after we had attained normal space. Lieutenant Torres endeavored to duplicate the procedure to enter liquid space, but all attempts failed.'

'Seven...' Kathryn whispered. Her protegé - she who had made so much progress, who had never had a chance to regain that which the Borg had taken from her forever - was gone. Tuvok waited a moment then resumed his story.

'There were, unfortunately, other casualties. Ensign Kim threw himself over Lieutenant Paris, saving his life, when part of the bridge collapsed at the time of the attack. He was posthumously awarded Starfleet's highest commendation. This padd contains a list of names of those lost - as well as news of the remaining crew.'

Stunned, Kathryn could only quickly glance at the padd before she handed it to Chakotay. He quickly scanned it, then found and read to her other, lighter bits of news.

'Kathryn - Ensign Wildman was reunited with her husband. Her daughter Naomi joined Starfleet. Paris and Torres were married not long after Voyager began its trip through the wormhole but were divorced before they reached home...'

'I don’t doubt it,’ Kathryn commented dryly.

'Ensign Vorik returned to the Vulcan homeworld.' Chakotay's voice took on a joyful, hopeful note. 'The Maquis on board Voyager were granted full amnesty and released. It's thought that many of them were planning to utilize _The Voyager Passage_ and settle in the Delta Quadrant - apparently, as far away from the Federation as possible. Starfleet Medical reconfigured all holographic EMHs to replicate the Doctor, and his knowledge has advanced medicine another hundred years. And listen to this - Neelix opened a café on Deep Space Nine and married a Ferengi woman.'

Ka'Lanna had, in the meantime, brought cool tea on a tray. She now served everyone, the first glass going to the strange yet fascinating being seated before her. She took one for herself and sat on the floor, mesmerized by him as he resumed his story.

'Upon our return,' continued Tuvok, 'I was promoted to Captain and eventually attained the rank of Admiral which made it easier to obtain permission to return for you. I was confident of your survival.'

Kathryn sat, trembling. Chakotay knelt before her. 'I think this is a little too much for her right now, Tuvok,' he said to the white-haired Vulcan. 'Kathryn - lie down for a while, won't you?'

She straightened. The hands steadied, became fists, and were lowered to her lap. Captain Janeway reappeared for a moment. 'No, Admiral Tuvok. I want to see my .....I want to see the ship.'

'Of course, Captain. And afterwards, the ship is yours to command. I assume you wish to depart for the Alpha Quadrant immediately.'

Kathryn looked at Chakotay. His heart was in his eyes. 'May we have a moment, Admiral?' he asked the Vulcan, who nodded and stepped outside.

As one, they turned to their daughter, who had sat quietly fascinated through Tuvok's story. If she had ever doubted her parents' tales of other species, other worlds, she believed them now after listening to the wise old being who had come to their rescue. To leave here and travel to other stars; to other planets! To go to the land of her father's ancestors; to at last meet her mother's people! Ka'lanna's eyes told them all they needed to know, even as they saw the truth in each other’s.

They wanted her to have every advantage, to further her education, perhaps even to attend the Academy, to have a family of her own before it was too late. They wanted her to return with Tuvok to family and friends who would shelter her until she made up her mind what she wanted to do. When they finished their discussion, Ka'lanna hurried into her room to pack. They watched her go, and turned to face each other with tears in their eyes.

They would not be leaving.

~ ~ ~

Tuvok personally escorted Ka'lanna to her quarters on board Voyager. She looked out at the cliff-shaded valley for one last time before the massive ship lifted off, leaving her parents behind. Tuvok had insisted on equipping the aging couple with plenty of the newest technology, which would make their final years easier, including a replicator and a portable holodeck complete with duplicate of the holographic Doctor. He ordered a weather detector set up to warn them of the dangerous hailstorms.

There had been the goodbyes; a firm handshake from her father to Tuvok, and her mother had actually embraced the stern-faced Vulcan, who astonishingly, returned the embrace. Then her parents had held her close one last time; together, their arms encircling her and their tears mixed with hers. Then, as one, they released her to stand with Tuvok for transport, as so long ago they had held the butterfly in their clasped hands and released it to the Sky Spirits.

The tearful goodbyes had left Ka'lanna drained; she sat on the couch in her quarters and leafed through the things she had brought: letters to her parents' friends and family and former crewmembers, her personal belongings and her medicine bundle. She had decided to briefly visit her mother's only remaining relative, her aunt Phoebe, before going to Darvon V to live with what remained of her father's people.

As to furthering her studies; applying to the Academy...she didn't know. She wanted a husband and family. She wanted someone who would love her as much as her father had loved her mother. To her, that was worth giving up everything else.

Again and again, her thoughts turned to the elderly couple as they had stood together in front of their home to bid her goodbye, arm in arm as always. Their image had blurred with her tears then flickered and vanished as she was swept into the matter stream of the transporter. She would miss them, but she had been assured of many visits. The technology now existed to allow faster flights to her parents' far-away home. She would make them proud of her. Her hand brushed her forehead where the strongest link to her loved ones remained forever: the ancient tattoo of the tribe of her ancestors. She was content.

She knelt on the floor and carefully arranged the tokens of her medicine bundle, made for her long ago by her father. Outside her quarters, in the corridor, the new crewmembers of the Starship Voyager who passed her door paused briefly, to listen to her softly singing the ancient chants of her people.

~~~

_I who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moons among the stars and the mysteries of the waters; I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From me all things proceed and unto me they must return. Let my worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold - all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor, and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And you who seek to know me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire._

(Legend of The Butterfly and Prayer From The Spiral Dance are from ancient tribal stories of Tsa La Gi - Ani-yv-wi – the Cherokee People).

 

The End


End file.
